Know Your Enemy: Florida Gators – Dawg Sports
Swamp Lizards. Beach Bums. Jorts. SEC East. History. Math. Stephen Orr Spurrier. Run Lindsay Run. Half A Hundred. Corrine Brown Celebration Penalty. 50-43-2
Who are they? The Devil’s Spawn Florida Gators.
Head Coach: James McElwain
When & Where? 3:30pm, October 28th, Everbank Field, Jacksonville, Florida.
Famous Alumni: Erin Andrews, Faye Dunaway, Joe Scarborough, Emmitt Smith, Marco Rubio
What conference are they affiliated with? The Southeastern Conference (9-4, 6-2 in 2016 SEC East Champions).
Fast Fact: Florida sucks with Thunderous Mountains of Suckitude
This is the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Make no mistake, this is about pride and history. It is good vs. evil, right vs. wrong, sweet tea vs. unfinished tea, Coke vs. Pepsi.
There is nothing good in the Gainesville 347.7 miles to the south and nothing evil in our own Classic City. The pride of Georgia is on the line. It is our way of life against theirs. The very civilization we hold near and dear to our own hearts is on the line. God dear reader is a Bulldog.
In the words of our own Vineyarddawg, “Let’s get one thing straight: I hate Florida. It’s not just a simple dislike, a harmonious discord, or even a deep, latent enmity. I hate Florida with the fire of a thousand suns being fueled by the fire of an additional thousand suns. In a world where my choices were to cheer for Florida or go blind, I’d start learning Braille.”
The last three years have been difficult ones for the Bulldog Nation in Jacksonville. But the Vineyarddawg prophecy from 2012 said, “though we walk through the valley of the shadow of the scaly and orange, we shall fear no evil. We shall, instead, allow our hatred and enmity to continue to fester for another year. After which time, we